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confuseacat
nofunanymore


1593 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:26:33  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Once upon a time in the future tense, there lived 5 women(one of whom was really a man in a woman's body who desperately wanted to be a woman), 3 rather dull men, several silly animals who will remain nameless(or will they?), two turtle doves and a space-time anomaly.
Now to the exciting part.
The turtle doves were named Cooooocoooocooooo and Coooocoooocooooooo. They both had lovely plumage and they were expecting a new egg at any time. They were both quite busy preparing a nest.
No wait, that's the mind-numbingly boring part.
The exciting part is somewhere in the middle of the story and is written by someone else. So you might want to skip the rest of this and hop on down there.
The back story of this story had something to do with a ghost ship that was sucked into a vortex and reappeared in deep space but then somehow a cosmically-challenged infinite poop-flinging minkey god brought it back to earth but it's mostly forgettable, especially if you're beyond the age of reason.
The story begins, as most of these type of stories do, with getting the obligatory suddenly farting cow out of the way. With that done, we can now move on to the semi-exciting first chapter which will be written by the semi-excited person below.

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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 06/30/2007 :  10:12:21  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ahem...well...erm...seeing as there exists what currently appears to be a severe shortage of semi-excited persons, the author of the first chapter of this story has been changed from a semi-excited person to the slightly less than semi-excited person below...
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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 06/30/2007 :  14:34:34  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
When suddenly, the cow... oh, you've seen this one.

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 06/30/2007 :  14:35:38  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'm not spoiling the ending, am I?

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 06/30/2007 :  18:53:20  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ending? The beginning was the ending. Actually, this isn't a story thread at all, its a metaphor for one of those bubbles that float to the surface when a ship is sinking.
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/01/2007 :  03:31:53  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
We're not sinking... we're aquaplaning just beneath the slimy surface of life. Which implies that we're moving upside down and through water which makes aquaplaning difficult but no one said it would be easy.

Can we just start with one character, maybe the cow... and swap it for a handful of magic beans (cause who wants a farty cow?)?






If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/01/2007 :  18:50:10  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well...I suppose the view is a bit different up there.
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/01/2007 :  19:04:26  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A story thread is probably the last thing this board needs now. They can be very heavy. I don't know why I made this one. I think I had a few good ideas for it when I started it, but today I can't remember any of them.

Maybe it's time for a summer vacation.



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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2007 :  05:54:53  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
What did I do? Did I sink that ship? And why are you leaping around in my wool? Don't you know it's the middle of winter? Give it back!






If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2007 :  13:49:30  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No, you didn't sink it. If anyone is to blame it's the captain and that's why I'll have to go down with it. I guess I was too busy pasting sheepheads on things to notice all the leaky threads. Now, all of a sudden the whole thing is going under and I can't even find an empty SPAM can to bail with.

Sometimes I forget the world is a ball.
Maybe it's time for a nice winter holiday.

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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2007 :  04:28:56  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Once upon a time there was a captain of a boat built from left over bits of other boats named the SS Leaky Thread. Years of sailing the equatorial line made his skin brown and cracked like old leather and he longed for a winter holiday (maybe even a Wimbledon summer). Even the kangaroo claw rum no longer amused him.
"First mate!" he called to a passing sheep. "Get up that crows mast and tell me which way winter lies!"
The passing sheep humoured him, after all only a crazy man would leap up and down on his head wearing llama wool. The sheep knew full well all the sane people were wearing alpaca for leaping this year. The sheep twitched her left ear intelligently.
"Ooooaaarrrh!" the captain yelled and...




If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2007 :  10:20:57  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
...that's when the sea cow bobbed it's head above the waves. "Wot's all this then?" asked the sea cow, "I thought I heard someone getting harpooned." The captain groaned and said, "Oh great, it's one of those silly animals who will remain nameless. Have you come to point and laugh?" The sea cow twitched it's bristly mustache and said "Not originally, but now that I've seen this ship, I think I will be doing some pointing and laughing." The captain stared at the sea cow for a moment and said "Well, what are you waiting for?" The sea cow replied "For all of you to drown, that will be hilarious." "Bastard." muttered the captain as he turned back to the poopdeck looking for an empty Merlot bottle and a dry sheet of paper to write his epitaph on.

When suddenly....
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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2007 :  17:15:55  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
...nothing happened. (dramatic music!)

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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Horrible Harm
Moderator



2536 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2007 :  18:30:32  Show Profile Send Horrible Harm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
But then, after TOOP's another other gratitious remark, emerged..
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2007 :  05:55:29  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
... a burp and the captain who emptied the merlot dregs into a pool on the deck and with one of his long curled toenails scratched the words "Save me! And send more lemon curry" onto the paper he'd found. Then he stuffed it into the old merlot bottle, regurgitated a cork he'd swallowed for fun earlier, corked the bottle and threw it over board where it bounced off three Albatross and a surprised sea cow before it bobbed under the waves and was instantly swallowed by a passing manta ray.
"Crikey!" the manta ray belched (in a language taught to him by a strange khaki human who frequented the shallows).




If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2007 :  11:23:18  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by The Other OTHER Operation

...nothing happened. (dramatic music!)




Does this mean that sea cows aren't the flatulent equivalent of their terrestial cousins?
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2007 :  11:55:41  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Eventually, after the sudden cacophony of burps, belches, and bouncing bottles ended, the ship abruptly stopped sinking as it became stuck on a sandbar. "Bob Spammit!" growled the captain, "I can't even drown properly, is there no end to this netical nightmare?" The sea cow frowned and disappeared beneath the waves, leaving only a few bubbles of unknown orificial origin. Any attempt to find humour in the gaseous mammal's foamy bubbles was crushed by the black mood of the crew and the ethereal stillness of the timewarped sea.
As the previous horrible sentence began to sink into the sheep's consciousness, she quickly reached for her lambtop and wwwent to You must be logged in to see this link. to see if it qualified as truly awful. As the setting sun rose on this scene, the ship began to shimmer and fade in and out of existence.
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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2007 :  16:50:17  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The show complete, the curtain fell, smothering the audience, and exposing the goings-on backstage.

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/05/2007 :  05:04:31  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Mmmmmm foamy...




If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 07/06/2007 :  09:16:39  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
My favourite foamys:
You must be logged in to see this link.
You must be logged in to see this link.
You must be logged in to see this link.





If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2007 :  08:56:58  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I like stories, especially stories about Sheeples

Refusing to use the spoilchick
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