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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste


2101 Posts

Posted - 02/15/2009 :  20:12:53  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Fire Sale! Make an offer on any of these fine Limericks:

There once was a llama named Nine
Who had carbuncles and warts on his spine
One tumbled off
Everytime he had a cough
So he took up smoking and now he is fine

There once was a rare kissing walrus
Whose kisses were so strong they'd floor us
We gave him mouthwash
and taught him to floss
Now his kisses are orgasmic and gorgeous

There is a funny walrus named The
Whose rhyming makes us go 'Duh?'
His limericks are cute
He looks good in a suit
As he drinks in a bar in Tapachula

There once was a very cute sheep from NZed
Who, halfway thru a limerick, dropped dead...

There once was a liver donor collector
Who thought he'd collect in this sector
When he got here he found
No one around
Except a sweet sheep and so he wrecked her

There once was a walrus who was drunk
In fact he was as drunk as a skunk
He left out a line
And spoke out of time
To a sheep who was in a blue funk

There once was a sheep with the blues
Her heart fell down into her shoes
She wanted some fun
But acted too dumb
And now she is yesterday's news.

There was once a funny walrus who
Made limericks that were all askew
They were quite daft
But made a sheep laugh
And for a moment she forgot to be blue

There was once a Vlad the Inhaler
Who became a rampant emailer
His keyboard died
And so he cried
I'm going to become a Corsican sailor!

There once was a pantomime horse
Whose ship drifted horribly off course
She cast out a line
And drank some wine
And ate some green beans in sauce

There once was an old dog named Sea
Who got horribly bitten by a flea
He hammered a nail
Into the tip of his tail
And now he swats the insect with glee

There once was a semprini named Iva
Who was a really bad driver
He drove his old Honda
Into an anaconda
Now he is a snake intestinal juice diver

There once was a playground named POL
Where people joked just to feel swell
Why it had to go
We just don't know
Ask not for whom tolls the bell

Vladimir the Inhaler recently died
He always seemed so knotted up inside
Shot by a Sheep
Silver bullets aren't cheap
But these things happen when two worlds collide

I love this playground of mine
A different place in matter and time
I like to goof
With jokes and spoof
And spin out the odd slapstick line







If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers

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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 02/17/2009 :  23:23:06  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'll offer this youtube clip for the Uranusian royalties.

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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 02/19/2009 :  16:42:16  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ooooh, tempting, tempting.

You reckon the Uranusians can sell these very specialised limericks?




If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 02/21/2009 :  09:30:46  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If they ever get their heads out of their own planet.
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