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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker


915 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2006 :  15:51:16  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
...the resurrection

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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2006 :  15:51:53  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The story so far...

Your Great great grand father on your father's side was a hearty fellow going by the name of Angus McVitie of the Glens of Row(a popular soap opera, not,generated name), he was a great one for a wee dram of bewie (hell I wish I could spell!) which was always a twinkle in his eye if not swilling liberally down his somewhat majestic thoat. Unwilling to settle for the modest life of the Glens, he set off for fame, fortune and destiny! His mission, to circumnavigate the globe, and you thought that was Sir Francis Drake, shame on you! Setting sail in the Golden Backend, previously named the Pellillama, accompanied by a pair of Marigolds(Large size to cover every eventuallity) and Elizabeth(well, you should always have at least one Elizabeth everywhere you go!!![those who know me sufficiently well will get my drift even if Angus McVitie didn't], he made the somewhat perrilous journey to Africa where he informed the **** scared crew that their true mission was to traverse the Magellen straights bearing right at the bottom and ransacking and looting Spanish settlements before hightailing it back homeward..........Angus McVitie was a true pioneer of the old school, nothing under his kilt!
Anyway, having caused havoc and mayhem in the name of all things truly scottish, he set sail once more ostensibly to return to the wee small isles again, now this is where the official version and the 'Truth' take turns in opposite directions. Queenie of England, that's Elizabeth to the rest of us, was most anxious to have all this stuff that was pilaged and raped off the good soil of the americas back to good old blighty, Angus had other ideas!

Pretending that he had to repair some leaks in the hitherto perfectly seaworthy Golden Backend, he set sail for pastures new and hitherto ungrazed allotments. Most surprisingly he came upon an island that was populated exclusively by kiwis(the fruits) and great swathes of grassy plains, hills and other green bits. His plan took root festered and finally came to fruition.

Angus Mcvitie decided that it would be a good weeze to populate this hitherto unspoilt and beautiful land with sheep! I ask you, what a deplorable idea, but then he had already desecrated Ireland by landing it with the good old spud, so I guess New Zealand thought itself rather lucky, things could always have been worse!!!
To continue.....Angus McVitie, having populated the shores of New Zealand with sheep(and impregnating the odd one just to be on the safe side and hence your ancestry can be traced to this laudable leader of men, beasts and vegetables(or tubers if one where to be pedantic), hurtled on, on his mission to get the gold back to blighty so that Queenie wouldn't go into one of those sulks and harass nursy. However, on his return, it was noticed that he had a terrible tendancy to burst into rhyming couplets. This displeased all but good queen Bess, the rest of the court had clearly seen the light and refused to countenance such pure unadultarated rubbish! Would you like to read a wee sample? You would, well here goes:
Silent Lover

Wrong not, sweet empress of my heart,
The merit of true passion,
With thinking that he feel no smart,
That sues for no compassion.

Silence in love bewrays more woe,
Than words, though ne're so witty,
A begger that is dumb, you know,
May challenge double pity.

Then wrong not, dearest to my heart,
My true, though secret passion,
He smarteth most that hides his smart,
And sues for no compassion.

Needless to say, for this assault on the senses of the Lords and Ladies of the land, there was only one way that this would end, ignominiously, (did I also mention that he was a pompous ass as well?, no, well I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but then as you were born on the other side of the sheets as it were, maybe you don't really mind too much, it is the greatness of his character that is the point, not how nice he was!)

With the arrrival of James the 1st on the royal throne, his fate was finally and irrevecably sealed(in a true knot). He was thrown into the tower a number of times, which was really rather careless if you ask me. During one of these sojourns he started writing an epic history of the world, and if you search carefully therin, you will probably find reference to your ancestors' birth places, but anyway to continue......




Refusing to use the spoilchick
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2006 :  16:01:56  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
but you see, Concordeisspam simply didn't continue. The history of the McVitie clan was left hanging there...

Refusing to use the spoilchick
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2006 :  16:06:23  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
What did Sheep Roost make of this? Did this poor wandering sheep find her birth flock origins or did she continue to float, rootless and with only a partially completed family history?

The questions, and many others have left me sleepless and counting sheep many a long night.

It's time to open up the archives and delve in to see if there is a Blackadder lurking in this Sheeps closet!


Refusing to use the spoilchick
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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2006 :  14:15:01  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
You must be logged in to see this link.

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2006 :  16:12:01  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Of course it's fraud, but is it convincing?

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Horrible Harm
Moderator



2536 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2006 :  16:37:18  Show Profile Send Horrible Harm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
yes yes yes!
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OneBurntWitch
Not The Messiah



426 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2006 :  17:03:01  Show Profile Send OneBurntWitch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Dude, did you see the results for the poll?! How crazy is that?!

One witch slowly roasted over a hot pit of fire.
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Horrible Harm
Moderator



2536 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2006 :  17:39:50  Show Profile Send Horrible Harm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
There was this girlie woman from Scotland on University Challenge last night... Even Jeremy didn't understand her. Her name was Glenda McVitie
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 10/17/2006 :  08:03:10  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
They're everywhere!

I'm still searching for some non-deplorable family ties, you know, something I can tell to someone else's gran... mine would just spit at me and steal my gin... I don't think the McVities are the answer, just quietly.






If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/17/2006 :  09:13:12  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oh well, back to the drawing board...

Refusing to use the spoilchick
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OneBurntWitch
Not The Messiah



426 Posts

Posted - 10/17/2006 :  15:51:33  Show Profile Send OneBurntWitch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
indeed.

One witch slowly roasted over a hot pit of fire.
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Horrible Harm
Moderator



2536 Posts

Posted - 10/17/2006 :  17:12:01  Show Profile Send Horrible Harm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Alan McVitie was a very talented centre left back footballer playing for Liverpool. He started his career at Dumbfurline FC , then was transferred to Inverlochness at the age of aarrgghhh..
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Horrible Harm
Moderator



2536 Posts

Posted - 10/17/2006 :  17:23:49  Show Profile Send Horrible Harm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
His half brother in law, Alan McManu(el)s really knows how to handle the stick and balls
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OneBurntWitch
Not The Messiah



426 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2006 :  15:52:43  Show Profile Send OneBurntWitch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'm sure of that one...

One witch slowly roasted over a hot pit of fire.
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confuseacat
nofunanymore



1593 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2006 :  17:45:45  Show Profile Send confuseacat a Private Message  Reply with Quote

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The Other OTHER Operation
Cheesemaker



686 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2006 :  18:07:18  Show Profile  Visit The Other OTHER Operation's Homepage Send The Other OTHER Operation a Private Message  Reply with Quote
And yet, KFC can still be seen lurking in the distance.

Also, Danish and Scandinavian books, see everything.
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2006 :  22:46:57  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
burgers and fried chicken are mutually exclusive, a bit like beer and Merlot...hang on a minute...

Refusing to use the spoilchick
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Sheep Roost
Passenger on the Marie Celeste



2101 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2006 :  05:58:40  Show Profile Send Sheep Roost a Private Message  Reply with Quote
It doesn't look like the colonel tho... looks like Father Ted. Mmmmm... thistle chips....






If you're not pissed off with the world, then you're just not paying attention - Casey Chambers
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OneBurntWitch
Not The Messiah



426 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2006 :  16:14:48  Show Profile Send OneBurntWitch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
at least they're not heatherchips...

One witch slowly roasted over a hot pit of fire.
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ConcordeSpamaticus
Cheesemaker



915 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2006 :  21:45:32  Show Profile Send ConcordeSpamaticus a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Who stole my reply???

Refusing to use the spoilchick
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